Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Lies will catch up with You

I am Tessa's mom, Joan Grant.  The title of the blog is a little misleading.  I never actively told Tessa a lie, but my silence was a lie.  I let her believe that man she knew as Dad was her biological father.  But when is a good time to tell your 8 year-old the man she knows as Dad isn't her biological dad?

My parents weren't understanding when I got pregnant in high school.  My father's reaction was he didn't want to be shamed by my behavior.  My mother went along with Dad.  It was my grandmother who came in and loved me though the pregnancy.  I thought my parents would come to love Tessa, but they could never unbend from their judgement.

I fell head over hills for a skinny kid who was in his senior  year in college.  He wanted to become a vet.  We dreamed together on how we could make a go of it.  When Vince won is scholarship to Purdue, I knew if he had a wife and baby he wouldn't go on to be a vet.  I couldn't do that to him, so I never told him.  If I could go back and do it all again, I would.  I would trust Vince enough to know he could be married, go to school and become a successful veterinarian.   Too back hindsight is 100%.

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